This past few weeks I started to question everything about my life. I was about to graduate with my 2nd degree and I have not gotten a job yet. But I got called by the Pharmacy Manager of Sam’s Club but I felt hopeless after a week that they have not called again. I was questioning myself why I could not get a job or if any one will like me to be their employee.
But of course I still think may be because of I do not have enough experience or I did not have any prior job experience before. I felt like I was lacking a lot and no one cares about me.
Going out of work-related worries, I always think of my love life. Although I know I am still young, but I feel like I want to get into a relationship and I think I really need someone in my life right now. There is a part of me that says I do need a guy but a part of me says I do not need one. I think it is my heart that says I need one and my brain that says you do not need one. Both have a point and right now I am in the middle. In the middle where I have two choices, a road that leads to two and it is up to me what road will I choose. Will I take the left side or the right side?
I do not know why I always think of love. But sometimes I think I am too sad and I always feel alone, well I am always alone. Maybe I just need that care from someone and that someone will always make me smile. I am in the situation where I know there will not be a very handsome guy that will like me because I know (I just feel like I know) that is impossible. I do not have that sex appeal and I do not even have the looks and the body. I admit if someone evaluates me, I am the boring type, like seriously. But I still try to be pretty at times and that is the very simple thing I can make myself pretty. But it is still not enough.
Well, I can say that there are some that likes me but I just don’t like them. Well, first they are just not my type and if I do not get that attraction I know it will be impossible. I want to feel that connection right away because I don’t want to get into something I am not sure of or I just don’t want someone to get into my life like that. And there goes me, I tend to like someone and I will get a bit crazy. And of course I admit they are good-looking and I am just out of their league. And I hate it when I get too attracted to that someone but what I like about it is that they make me smile just seeing them. Sometimes, those times are enough for me to be happy even if it is just for a limited time. Who does not like seeing their crush right?
I also want to share these 2 guys in school. I will not tell their age, name and what they are in school. This first guy, I have always seen him in school but it was just last quarter when I saw him and smiled at me and dang, his smile caught me. Such a killer smile, cupid got me right away (I think). Then this quarter that has passed, I had lots of encounter with him. And when we passed by each other he greets me like, “How you doin’” or “Hi”. There was this time, during my last day in school (ever last day) where he was in this room and I can see him from outside the window, then I was talking to my friend but I can still see him from my side view. And from my side view, I saw him, he saw me and he leaned back from his chair to check me. I feel like to make sure it was me that’s why he leaned back. And I was shocked even though I know he knows that I think I did not see that. But man, I was happy (or kinikilig haha). Inside my heart, I was jumping for joy. But I am hoping to see him when I attend the advisory board on the 24th of this month. The 2nd guy, I want to talk about him but I feel like not too. All I can say is he is really a good-looking one, very tall and all about him just makes me want him more even though it is a hundred percent impossible. And I feel sad about it…
I don’t know if I am a hopeless romantic or a hopeful romantic because I feel both. I hope for someone but at the same time I feel so hopeless finding one. I hate myself when I feel like this…
Anyway, I just want to let my feelings out. I feel like bursting into tears and feel like giving up. But I don’t. I am still here, never giving up with life because I am not with this world, nor I am done with the things I have to accomplish. There are so much things I have to do and accomplish because those are my dreams. Dreams that I have been waiting all my life.
But in spite of almost giving up with that job opportunity from Sam’s Club, on the last day of March, the Pharmacy Manager called me for an interview. And on April 1st, although I got wet from the rain, it was okay because my interview went well. And the next day, Manager called me and offered me the job! And it is FULL TIME! Of course, I gladly accepted his offer and I am really flattered when he told me he really likes me. Although he knows that I do not have any prior experience except for my externship, he still considered me and accepted me to be a part of his team for the new pharmacy that will open in Sam’s Club. Yes, I will be a pioneer in that pharmacy and I am very proud of it. I will do my best to be the best one and I will not let them feel sorry that they hired me.
Slowly, I can see that my hard work is paying off. I know it will even though it will take time. I will not give up, not now when I strive very hard than others. I am licensed and even a certified pharmacy technician now. I have 2 degrees now and soon I will continue for my bachelor’s. I am excited, I feel like I love school, I never felt like this with school. Maybe because I had a really really good experience with Heald College that I have never experienced in the Philippines. I am happy, I really do.
I don’t want to make this any longer, but I want to be an inspiration to others. I know I am still young, no matter what your age is, you can still dream. I know I have achieved some big things but I am not done with life, I have more of my dreams to come true. Just work hard and consider the education that you enter in. Never let it slip away and never give up on it. If you do not like the particular course, you can always change as long as you are sure and try to finish it. It still costs money and education is very expensive. Treasure it because it will help you. Whether some people succeed without graduating, people also exceed with what they learn.
Just remember, WORK HARD. Every hard work will pay off. It will, and PRAY. NEVER GIVE UP.